‘You look fabulous, darling’
When you tell the world who you are, you’re reminding yourself, too.
I’ve been busy recording podcasts for work recently and one of my favourite conversations was on fashion – obvs. Almost every time I look at my (open) wardrobe I feel a sense of despair because I literally have nothing to wear. Although that clearly isn’t true because I somehow manage to produce a new image of myself in different outfits for every issue of the magazine I edit, and in this role, I’ve edited more than 50.
But it’s all about perception, and the industry I genuinely love, is constantly drumming into us that we need more clothes and especially at this time of the year, party season for those of us that are not introverts, grinches or in temporary or permanent hibernation. It’s my work party this week and I heard that in a meeting at which I wasn’t present (probably doing more important things like bemoaning the vacant state of my wardrobe), it was said that I would bring the most fashion energy to the event. So, no pressure.
And I’m fine with that, really I am, but why do we care so much about clothes and presentation? I’m sure a few people will read this and think, well, no Tola, I actually don’t care about what I wear. But you do, really. Not caring about what you put on your body is often an opinion formed through a disassociation with the tribe of those who profess that they do rather than a firm disinterest. And I concur, much like vegans, fashion people can be incredibly tedious. With their ‘black is in!’, ‘Glitter is out!’, ‘Animal fur is evil but animal print is sooo on trend!’ (Don’t get me started on Fashionista vegans; they are the worst.)
it does feed into the consciousness I have about being presented ‘well’
On my very first blog (also called Christ Couture), I wrote an intro piece on why I believe that clothes tell people about who you are. A friend has been staying with me recently and commented that I have a lot of books around about clothes and style. This isn’t conscious, but it does feed into the consciousness I have about being presented ‘well’ and enjoying playing around with different looks. I once delayed a trip I had planned to Bath by about two hours because I hated my outfit. In my last job, working down the road from Zara and House of Fraser, I was known to disappear at lunch time and return in a completely new fit. On all occasions the change was less about vanity but more because I just didn’t feel right.
What one thing makes you feel confident in a way nothing else does
I present as extrovert, but for the times I don’t quite know how to show up in life – at work, at church, on a date, at an event – I use my wardrobe as a guideline to move me through it with less anxiety. I think we probably all do this in some way or another. You might have one thing that makes you feel confident whether its an accessory or showing up in a certain car or having a trim or your make up done in a certain way.
What one thing makes you feel confident in a way nothing else does and when did you realise the impact it had on you?
How we present ourselves to the world matters, and not just to everyone else, it’s key for you too.
Tola x
I’m the editor and creative director at Premier Woman Alive and co-host of the YouTube show Sisterhood. In 2019, I delivered a TEDx Talk on Debunking the Myth of Success and my first book, 'Still Standing:100 Lessons From An 'Unsuccessful' Life' is out now.